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Today's Joke

Wisdom Learned with Age (Part 2)

  • It's not the pace of life that concerns me, it's the sudden stop at the end.
  • It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
  • Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a trip around the sun.
  • The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.
  • If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would have put them on my knees.
  • Never knock on death's door, ring the bell and run. (he hates that.)
  • Lead me not into temptation (I can find the way myself)
  • When you are finally holding all the cards, why does everyone else decide to play chess?
  • If you're living on the edge, make sure you're wearing your seatbelt.
  • There are two kinds of pedestrians. The quick and the dead.
  • An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
  • A closed mouth gathers no feet.
  • Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
  • It's not hard to meet expenses; they're everywhere.
  • Jury: Twelve people who determine which client has the better attorney.
  • The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

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