What's Your Business Sign?
You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid having
to study in college, concentrating instead on drinking and socializing which
is pretty much what your job responsibilities are now. Least compatible with
Laziest of all signs, often referred to as "marketing without a degree." You
are also self-centered and paranoid. Unless someone calls you and begs you
to take their money, you like to avoid contact with customers so you can "concentrate
on the big picture." You seek admiration for your golf game throughout
Unable to control anything in your personal life, you are instead content to
completely control everything that happens at your workplace. Often even
YOU don't understand what you are saying but who the hell can tell. It is
written that Geeks shall inherit the Earth.
One of only two signs that actually studied in school. It is said that engineers
place ninety percent of all Personal Ads. You can be happy with yourself;
your office is full of all the latest "ergodynamic" gadgets. However,
we all know what is really causing your "carpal tunnel syndrome."
The only other sign that studied in school. You are mostly immune from office
politics. You are the most feared person in the organization; combined with
your extreme organizational traits, the majority of rumors concerning you
say that you are completely insane.
Ironically, given your access to confidential information, you tend to be the
biggest gossip within the organization. Possibly the only other person that
does less work than marketing, you are unable to return any calls today because
you have to get a haircut, have lunch AND then mail a letter.
Catty, cutthroat, yet completely spineless, you are destined to remain at your
current job for the rest of your life. Unable to make a single decision you
tend to measure your worth by the number of meetings you can schedule for
yourself. Best suited to marry other "Middle Managers" as everyone
in your social circle is a "Middle Manager."
(See above - Same sign, different title)
Bright, cheery, positive, you are a fifty-cent cab ride from taking your own
life. As children very few of you asked your parents for a little cubicle
for your room and a headset so you could pretend to play "Customer Service." Continually
passed over for promotions, your best bet is to sleep with your manager.
Lacking any specific knowledge, you use acronyms to avoid revealing your utter
lack of experience. You have convinced yourself that your "skills" are
in demand and that you could get a higher paying job with any other organization
in a heartbeat. You will spend an eternity contemplating these career opportunities
without ever taking direct action.
As a "person" that profits from the success of others, most people
who actually work for a living disdain you. Paid on commission and susceptible
to alcoholism, your ulcers and frequent heart attacks correspond directly with
fluctuations in the stock market.
PARTNER, PRESIDENT, CEO
You are brilliant or lucky. Your inability to figure out complex systems such
as the fax machine suggest the latter.
Paid to take days off. Government workers are genius inventors, like the invention
of new Holidays. They usually suffer from deep depression or anxiety and
usually commit serious crimes while on the job...Thus the term "GO POSTAL"