"Actual Elementary School Excuse Notes"

"Jerry was at his grandmother's yesterday, and she did not bring him to school because Jerry couldn't remember where the school was."

"Ronnie would not finish his work last night. He said his brain was too tired of spelling."

"Eric hurt his knee in a karate tournament over the weekend. He won his age group, but was in too much pain to do his math assignment."

"Amy did not do her homework last night because we went out to a party and did not get home until late. If she is tired, please let her sleep during recess time."

"Henry stayed home because he had a stomach ache from eating too much frosting."

"It was my fault Mike did not do his math homework last night. His pencil broke and we do not have a pencil sharpener at home."

"Scott didn't practice last night because he lost his tooth in the mouthpiece of his trumpet."

"Diane was late on Wednesday. She fell asleep on the bus and was taken back to the bus yard."

"Cody was absent yesterday because we were out bowling until 2 AM."

"Tommy wasn't in school yesterday because he thought it was Saturday."