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Punny Humor
Sunday, December 8, 2019
PARENT'S GLOSSARY OF KIDS KITCHEN TERMS
- APPETIZING:
Anything advertised on TV.
- BOIL:
The point a parent reaches upon hearing the automatic "Yuck" before a food
is even tasted.
- CASSEROLE:
Combination of favorite foods that go uneaten
because they are mixed together.
- CHAIR:
Spot left vacant by mid-meal bathroom visit.
- COOKIE (LAST ONE):
Item that must be eaten in front of a sibling.
- CRUST:
Part of a sandwich saved for the starving children
of another country.
- DESSERTS:
The reason for eating a meal.
- EVAPORATE:
Magic trick performed by children when it comes
time to clear the table or wash dishes.
- FAT:
Microscopic substance detected visually by children
on pieces of meat they do not wish to eat.
- FLOOR:
Place for all food not found on lap or chair.
- FORK:
Eating utensil made obsolete by discovery of fingers.
- FRIED
FOODS:
Gourmet cooking
- FROZEN:
Condition of children's jaws when Spinach is served.
- FRUIT:
A natural sweet not to be confused with dessert.
- GERMS:
The only thing kids will share freely.
- KITCHEN:
The only room not used when eating crumbly snacks.
- LEFTOVERS:
Commonly described as "gross."
- LIVER:
A food that affects genes, creating a hereditary dislike.
- LOLLIPOP:
A snack provided by people who don't have to pay dental bills.
- MACARONI:
Material for a collage.
- MEASURING CUP:
A kitchen utensil that is stored in the sandbox.
- NAPKIN:
Any warm cloth object, such as shirt or pants.
- NATURAL FOOD:
Food eaten with unwashed hands.
- NUTRITION:
Secret war waged by parents using direct commands,
camouflage, and constant guard duty.
- PLATE:
A breakable Frisbee.
- REFRIGERATOR:
A very expensive and inefficient room air conditioner when
not being used as an art gallery.
- SALIVA:
A medium for blowing bubbles.
- SODA POP:
Shake'N Spray.
- TABLE:
A place for storing gum.
- TABLE LEG:
Percussion instrument
- THIRSTY:
How your child feels after you've said your final "good night."
- VEGETABLE:
A basic food known to satisfy kid's hunger —but only by sight.
- WATER:
The cola of underdeveloped countries.
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