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Sunday, December 8, 2019

PARENT'S GLOSSARY OF KIDS KITCHEN TERMS

  • APPETIZING:
    Anything advertised on TV.
  • BOIL:
    The point a parent reaches upon hearing the automatic "Yuck" before a food is even tasted.
  • CASSEROLE:
    Combination of favorite foods that go uneaten because they are mixed together.
  • CHAIR:
    Spot left vacant by mid-meal bathroom visit.
  • COOKIE (LAST ONE):
    Item that must be eaten in front of a sibling.
  • CRUST:
    Part of a sandwich saved for the starving children of another country.
  • DESSERTS:
    The reason for eating a meal.
  • EVAPORATE:
    Magic trick performed by children when it comes time to clear the table or wash dishes.
  • FAT:
    Microscopic substance detected visually by children on pieces of meat they do not wish to eat.
  • FLOOR:
    Place for all food not found on lap or chair.
  • FORK:
    Eating utensil made obsolete by discovery of fingers.
  • FRIED FOODS:
    Gourmet cooking
  • FROZEN:
    Condition of children's jaws when Spinach is served.
  • FRUIT:
    A natural sweet not to be confused with dessert.
  • GERMS:
    The only thing kids will share freely.
  • KITCHEN:
    The only room not used when eating crumbly snacks.
  • LEFTOVERS:
    Commonly described as "gross."
  • LIVER:
    A food that affects genes, creating a hereditary dislike.
  • LOLLIPOP:
    A snack provided by people who don't have to pay dental bills.
  • MACARONI:
    Material for a collage.
  • MEASURING CUP:
    A kitchen utensil that is stored in the sandbox.
  • NAPKIN:
    Any warm cloth object, such as shirt or pants.
  • NATURAL FOOD:
    Food eaten with unwashed hands.
  • NUTRITION:
    Secret war waged by parents using direct commands, camouflage, and constant guard duty.
  • PLATE:
    A breakable Frisbee.
  • REFRIGERATOR:
    A very expensive and inefficient room air conditioner when not being used as an art gallery.
  • SALIVA:
    A medium for blowing bubbles.
  • SODA POP:
    Shake'N Spray.
  • TABLE:
    A place for storing gum.
  • TABLE LEG:
    Percussion instrument
  • THIRSTY:
    How your child feels after you've said your final "good night."
  • VEGETABLE:
    A basic food known to satisfy kid's hunger —but only by sight.
  • WATER:
    The cola of underdeveloped countries.

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