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Today's Work Humor

Wednesday, October 24, 2018

You know you're on a bad date when...

(female version)

  • You order a Whopper Value Meal and he says, "Hey, my name ain’t Rockefeller, honey."
  • You’ve never heard someone speak with such passion about an ant farm.
  • Your dinner reservations are under "Loser, party of 2"
  • He’s especially proud of how long he can sustain a burp.
  • He calls to tell you he’ll pick you up, just as soon as the stand off with the police is over.
  • He’s been on Geraldo once and Jerry Springer, twice.

(male version)

  • She whispers to the waiter, "Please kill me."
  • You catch her giving her phone number to the guy cleaning your windshield.
  • She lunges at you several times with a steak knife.
  • She keeps calling you "Bachelor Number Two".
  • "Whoa! Is it 8:15 already?"
  • She transitions the conversation by saying "I’ve said enough about me. What do you think about me?"

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