The Ten Most Common Forms of Office Illnesses

1. The Macy's One Day Sale Flu
2. The Drivers License Renewal Appointment 24-Hour Virus
3. The Friday-Afternoon-Start-The-Weekend-Early Sudden Unbearable Stomach Pains
4. The I'm Looking for a New Job and I Don't Know How Long It's Going to Take, but I Want To Stay On The Payroll Until Then Mysterious Infection
5. The My Boy/Girlfriend's Got the Week Off So Suddenly I'm Too Contagious To Come In To The Office Disease
6. The I Need a Hair Cut and My Stylist Doesn't Make Evening Appointments Bout of Influenza
7. The There's No Federal Holidays for Two Months, and I Want a Day Off Sickness
8. The It's Spring Break and I Want To Pretend I'm a Teenager Again General Ailment
9. The I've Screwed Up Royally, and I Won't Come In To Face the Music Terminal Illness.
10. The I Really Am Sick and I've Got The Doctor's Bills and the Completed Medical Expense Reimbursement Forms to Prove It Infirmity