Lawyer Jokes

How does an attorney sleep?
First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.

How many lawyer jokes are there?
Only three. The rest are true stories.

How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Three. One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.

What are lawyers good for?
They make used car salesmen look good.

What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?
An anvil.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?
The pronunciation.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.

Why did God create snakes just before lawyers?
To practice.