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Jokes about children!

Children say and do the funniest things. Here's where you'll find all sorts of fun stories and anecdotes about kids and the things they do. Check out today's clean joke about children and our sponsor.

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Today's Joke About children

Friday, September 17, 2021

Marriage - Before the Ceremony and After

Before: You take my breath away
After: I feel like I'm suffocating

Before: She says she loves the way I take control
After: She called me a controlling, manipulative egomaniac

Before: He makes me feel like a million dollars
After: If I had a dime for every clumsy thing he's done...

Before: We agree on everything!
After: Doesn't she have a mind of her own?

Before: Is that all you're having?
After: Maybe you should just have a salad, honey.

Before: Nothing is too good for you!
After: You spent *how* much??

Before: Ideal
After: Idle

Before: Candy hearts and flowers
After: Onion rings and antacid

Before: Time stood still
After: This relationship is going nowhere

Before: Croissant and cappuccino
After: Bagel and instant coffee

Before: Blind
After: Nearsighted

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