I'm a Senior Citizen . . . . . . Almost 50

• I'm the life of the party . . . . . . even when it lasts 'til 8pm.
• I'm very good at opening childproof caps with a hammer.
• I'm usually interested in going home before I get to where I'm going.
• I'm good on a trip for at least an hour without my aspirin, antacid . . .
• I'm the first one to find the bathroom wherever I go.
• I'm awake many hours before my body allows me to get up.
• I'm smiling all the time because I can't hear a word you're saying.
• I'm very good at telling stories...over and over and over and over.
• I'm aware that other people's grandchildren are not as bright as mine.
• I'm not grouchy, I just don't like traffic, waiting, politicians . . .
• I'm positive I did housework correctly before the Internet.
• I'm sure everything I can't find is in a secure place.
• I'm wrinkled, saggy and lumpy, and that's just my left leg.
• I'm having trouble remembering simple words like . . . uh . . .
• I'm now spending more time with my pillows than with my mate.
• I'm realizing that aging is not for sissies.
• I'm walking more (to the bathroom) and enjoying it less.
• I'm sure they are making adults much younger these days.
• I'm in the initial state of my golden years: SS, CD's, IRA's, AARP.
• I'm wondering if you're only as old as you feel, how could I be alive at 50?
• I'm anti-everything now: anti-fat, anti-smoke, anti-noise, anti-inflammatory.
• I'm supporting all movements now . . . by eating bran, prunes and raisins.
• I'm a walking storeroom of facts . . . I've just lost the storeroom.
• I'm a Senior Citizen and I think I am having the time of my life.