Prospective Employee Assessment

MEMO

Subject: Prospective Employee Assessment

To: All Managers

The following guidelines shall be used when hiring new personnel.

Take the prospective employees you are trying to place and put them in a room with only a table and two chairs. Leave them alone for two hours, without any instruction. At the end of that time, go back and see what they are doing.

• If they have taken the table apart in that time, put them in Engineering.
• If they are counting the butts in the ashtray, assign them to Finance.
• If they are screaming and waving their arms, send them off to Manufacturing.
• If they are talking to the chairs, Personnel is a good spot for them.
• If they are sleeping, they are Management material.
• If they are writing up the experience, send them to Technical Publications.
• If they don’t even look up when you enter the room, assign them to Security.
• If they try to tell you it’s not as bad as it looks, send them to Marketing.
• And if they have left early, put them in Sales.