You're Getting Old When...

• The gleam in your eyes is from the sun hitting your bifocals.
• Your little black book contains only names ending in M.D.
• You get winded playing chess.
• A dripping faucet causes an uncontrollable bladder urge.
• You walk with your head high trying to get used to your bifocals.
• Your favorite part of the newspaper is "25 Years Ago Today..."
• You turn out the light for economic reasons rather than romantic ones.
• You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.
• You regret all those mistakes resisting temptation.
• After painting the town red, you have to take a long rest before applying a second coat.
• Dialing long distance wears you out.
• You're startled the first time you are addressed as an old timer.
• You just can't stand people who are intolerant.
• The best part of your day is over when your alarm clock goes off.
• You burn the midnight oil until 9 pm.
• A fortune teller offers to read your face.
• The little grey haired lady you help across the street is your wife.
• You have too much room in the house and not enough room in the medicine cabinet.