Fun With Words!
— Puns, Language and Word Jokes —
Thursday, December 13, 2018
You Know You're Getting Older When:
- Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work.
- The gleam in your eyes is from the sun hitting your bifocals.
- You feel like the night after, and you haven't been anywhere.
- Your little black book contains only names ending in M.D.
- You get winded playing cards.
- Your children begin to look middle aged.
- You finally reach the top of the ladder and find it leaning against the wrong wall.
- You're still chasing men but can't remember why.
- You join a health club, but don't go.
- You begin to outlive enthusiasm.
- Your mind makes contracts that your body can't keep.
- "25 Years Ago Today", is your favorite part of the newspaper.
- A dripping faucet causes an uncontrollable bladder urge.
- You know all the answers, but nobody asks you the questions.
- You look forward to a dull evening.
- You walk with your head high trying to get used to your bifocals.
- You turn out the light for economic reasons rather than romantic ones.
- You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.
- Your knees buckle and your belt won't.
- You regret all those mistakes resisting temptation.
- After painting the town red, you have to take a long rest before applying a second coat.
- Dialing long distance wears you out.
- You're startled the first time you are addressed as an old timer.
- You just can't stand people who are intolerant.
- The best part of your day is over when your alarm clock goes off.
- You burn the midnight oil until 9 pm.
- Your back goes out more often than you do.
- A fortune teller offers to read your face.
- The little gray haired person who you help across the street is your spouse.
- You have too much room in the house and not enough room in the medicine cabinet.
- You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.